Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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