check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
