i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
