Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
