Plan B is the new Plan A
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
