tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
