Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
