I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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