..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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