I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
