Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
