I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We need a shit load of segways right now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
