Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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