Kiss
Puke
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
