Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
