Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize