She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
