HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I AM VODKA MAN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
