I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
