His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
