U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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