I got chris browned last night
I've blown a few things in my day
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize