we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
