Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
