well I can't set my house on fire every night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize