The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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