wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i came on her dog
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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