i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
