Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
