anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
