Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
