can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Alive.
So much puke
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
