So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
