Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
