He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
