Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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