so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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