I wannas sexs uuuuu
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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