I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
