oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
