chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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