Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
