I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
