You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
