Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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