I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
