also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize