He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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