I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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