How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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