I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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