Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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