You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
