Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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