That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
