I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize