I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
