who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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